So A Slimer, A Zombie, And A Gremlin Walk Into A Bar

Thwap.

The slime ball hit Tricia square in her back.

“What the—”

Plop.

A handful of rotted zombie flesh landed in her cereal, splattering milk and god-knows-what across the table.

“Hey, quit it! What’s the matter with you?”

“We wanna play,” Slimer said.

“Later. Can’t you see I’m eating breakfast?”

She gave zombie Duane the evil eye. “Well, I was eating. Thanks a lot. I’m out of milk. Now what can I have?”

Duane shrugged his shoulders, dropping more putrid bits onto the kitchen floor. “I like brains.”

Tricia stood on her chair so she could look Duane in the eye—the right one—the left fell out years ago. “Yeah, well, there’s only one brain here and no one’s eating it.”

“We’re bored,” Duane said. “We’re tired of writing. We need a break.”

“Oh, geez,” Tricia said. “You’re the ones who wanted to tell the story. And now you want to quit? Do you know how hard it is to open an interdimensional quantum tunnel into someone’s brain in another universe? Well? Do you?”

“But we wanna go drinking,” Slimer said, collapsing into a puddle of whimpering ooze.

“If I can’t have brains, I want whiskey,” Duane said.

Tricia sighed. “You’re allergic to gremlin brains, remember? And pull yourself together, Slimer. Come on, guys. We’ve got a great story. You wanna let those new alien vampires get the upper hand? They’re trying to move in on our territory, you know.”

“Whiskey, then writing,” Duane demanded.

Tricia jumped to the floor. “All right, whiskey it is. But only for a week,” she said, glaring at her companions. “Then it’s back to writing.”

#

Stephen sighed as he stared at his computer. What happened to his story about slimers, zombies, and gremlins? His characters hadn’t talked to him in days. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all.

He closed the file and opened a new document. Last night’s dream about alien vampires might be a good diversion. Maybe it would get him past the writer’s block.

*********************************

This was inspired by Char’s comment on my previous post. A little fun to keep the blog lively. And I think she’s on to something with Zombies being one cure for writer’s block.

24 thoughts on “So A Slimer, A Zombie, And A Gremlin Walk Into A Bar

    • Thanks! I don’t think I could do a full-length humorous book. I think humor’s one of the hardest things to do well. But I love to pepper it in my works-in-progress.

      Thanks for commenting!

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  1. What a fun post! And believe it or not, I had two more bloggers’ posts to read, and then I was going to go upstairs and get a bowl of cereal. But now that I’m imagining “putrid bits” on the floor, I might pass. 🙂

    By the way, just noticed your blogroll. Thanks so much for including mine! What a pleasant surprise (and if it’s been there awhile, you now understand why I am not a detective). Haven’t done one myself. Really should. In fact, there are so many things I really should do…

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    • Oops! Hope I didn’t put too many people off their breakfast! 🙂

      You’re welcome on the blogroll—my site stats show some people are clicking on links in it. I should click on more when I read other blogs. But time is always the constraining factor! Why can’t we make more of it?!

      As always, thanks for commenting! 🙂

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      • Guess it takes more than putrid bits to spoil my appetite, after all (as if there were any danger!). I am enjoying a nice bowl of cereal while I write this. 🙂

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  2. Hee! I loved this…good thing I’m not a breakfast eater! LOL This was fun and had me giggling. I love reading your writing jm–this was a treat! 🙂

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    • Thanks, Jeannie! It was fun to write, too. The “real” job is going to get busy soon, so I may not have as much time for playing like this. 😦 But I’ll try. 🙂

      Have a great day!

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  3. JM, I got an idea for a short story. Just a break from my ya novel. It ended up being my adult novel that placed in the Amazon contest. You never know where a detour might take you! I really enjoyed what you wrote!

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    • Thanks, Kourtney! That’s one of the fun things about writing for me—the unexpected idea that pops into my head and then takes shape. Some of my writer friend’s characters actually suggested using a slimer, zombie, and gremlin for this short. Not only have I got my characters in my head, now I’ve got hers! 🙂

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  4. Ah, zombies! Great post. It made me laugh. I’ll laugh harder when I finally get home and off this dang trip. The wi-fi out here is not the best, and I’m falling behind on posts and reading blogs. Glad I found this on my 5 minutes of down time when I could finally connect to the dang internet.

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  5. Pingback: Some Light Reading | jmmcdowell

    • This really was just one of those ideas that hits you and asks for a quick write up. These are so not my usual characters! The idea truly came from some of the characters in a book being written by a friend of mine. I really hope she’ll finish it soon because it’s really good. Maybe I should try something like this again when I get home to get me over my latest block….

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  6. Even from this little bit, I like Duane a lot – he sounds the type of controlled zombie one could really have fun with. Slimer and Tricia are cute, too – I like the detail of Tricia needing to get up on the chair to look Duane in the eye. It’s very vivid and telling- uh, showing. 🙂

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    • I could never do real horror, and these characters were so unexpected for me. They really were inspired by a friend’s WIP. Tricia showed up first, this little green girl goblin…. But Duane and Slimer were quick on her heels. As Char had suggested, when facing writer’s block, try zombies. Humorous (and controlled) is the only way I could handle them! 🙂

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