Fun With Spam

Ah, the phishy school of spammers recently returned to the fertile feeding ground that is my blog. Here are some recent residents of my spam queue that brought a smile to my face.

“Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative to read?” — Most long-time followers know I have never uploaded a video to this blog. (The rare link to a video can be found at the end of this post.) Are you someone who hates doing research? Can’t be bothered with facts? A career in spamming may be what you’re looking for. No attention to details necessary.

“I am not very wonderful with English but I line up this real easygoing to understand .” — At least this spammer is honest about his or her language skills. We’ll return to this subject with an important service announcement at the end of this post.

“Nice read. I just passed this onto a friend who was doing some research on that. He actually bought me lunch as I found it for him! Therefore let me rephrase: Thanx for lunch!” — This was on my “Status Update” post. Someone was researching my status on my book writing? Wow. I must have more of a following than I thought. 😉 Hope they enjoyed the free meal.

“simply wanted to comment on your wonderfully designed website, awesome job!” — I believe in giving credit where credit is due. So kudos to the folks at Frostpress, who designed the Comet Theme that I use. I’m sure it will make their day to know that spammers admire their web designs.

“I dugg some of you post as I thought they were handy handy” — I guess two handies are better than one. But please do not use them to digg me.

“Hello! This really is my own 1st remark right here so I simply wanted to present a quick scream away along with let you know I honestly enjoy looking at your blog post content. Are you able to advise some other websites And websites Per community forums that go over a similar subjects? Be thankful!” — Oh, boy. This one came from a site that clearly states it’s about the good health for a certain part of the male anatomy. I don’t know if that’s why they “wanted to present a quick scream away,” but I really don’t think I can help them with web sites related to theirs….

“yeah bookmaking this wasn’t a high risk determination great post! .” — Darn. Wouldn’t it be more fun if our blogs WERE high risk determinations? What a great way to add some virtual danger to our daily lives, don’t you think?

“Thank you, I’ve recently been looking for info approximately this topic for a long time and yours is the best I’ve discovered so far. However, what concerning the conclusion? Are you positive in regards to the source?” — Well, since this is my blog about my writing, yes, I am positive in regards to the source. Appropriately enough, this “comment” was meant to be left on my “Spamapalooza” post.

“some genuinely good info , Gladiolus I discovered this.” — I nearly spit coffee on my computer with this one. I’m so gladiolus they found three sentences that simply describe the accompanying pages to be so genuinely good.

“I like this web site its a master peace ! .” — Aw, gosh, a master peace? I’d better start preparing an acceptance speech for the Nobel Prize that will surely come my way. Drat, something else to cut into my writing time.

“some times its a pain in the ass to read what blog owners wrote but this site is very user pleasant! .” — Now what could be better than this spammer’s seal of approval for my blog? You won’t get embarrassing or unpleasant pains in your posterior region when reading my posts. If that’s not a reason to read them, I don’t know what is.

And finally, here are two posts for an important Public Service Announcement on behalf of all language instructors.

“There are certainly numerous details like that to take into consideration. That could be a great point to bring up. I offer the thoughts above as common inspiration however clearly there are questions just like the one you bring up where crucial factor might be working in sincere good faith. I don?t know if greatest practices have emerged round issues like that, however I’m positive that your job is clearly identified as a fair game. Both boys and girls really feel the influence of just a moment’s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.” — and

“Aw, this was a really nice post. In concept I wish to put in writing like this additionally – taking time and precise effort to make an excellent article… however what can I say… I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.”

Let these be a lesson to all of us not to rely too heavily on translation programs. Please be sure to consult with a language professional before posting in a language that is unknown to you, lest you find yourself in John Cleese’s position in this classic Monty Python skit.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming. Have a wonderful day.